Friday, July 25, 2008

Could you please hold for a moment?

Sure, I'll hold.
As if I have another option.

6 days until my flight to India.

[Sigh.]

I just want to be alone. I feel like I have been living in a thrift store the last couple of weeks--lots of things once held dear. I just taught my last class and all my checks are in the mail (or so they say). The "throw out" stuff is thrown out. The "giveaway" stuff is given away. The "to sell" stuff is being sold. I've said a lot of goodbyes. I'm unraveling a sweater. I'm a tied-down hot air balloon waiting to float into the sky.

I need to check with my supervisor, can you please hold again?
Yes, of course.

My asana practice is a TV on in another room. I'm going, I'm practicing, and then it's the next day again. But even when I'm not looking at the TV, the shows keep playing and in practice the same holds true. I let out a yelp when I landed on my upper arms in karandavasana and then went on with my day as if it happened to someone else or me in a future time.

Waiting is the hardest part. Or is it being on hold?



You'll need to dial this number instead.

I wonder what a snake feels like when it crawls out of its own skin or a snail that trades its home for another. Is it like a much wanted shower or is it like a small death?