Finding ease in difficulty

I was one part relieved to practice primary today (hoping for a relaxing/comforting practice) and two parts so tired I wanted to just go to sleep. It has been a long, emotionally and physically taxing week and I'm spent. After teaching early this morning, I tried not to think and just let my feet drag me down to the shala. I had no proper practice clothes (not so fun with all the jumping and no sports bra), was tired, sore, etc. I let all that leave my mind and replaced it with thoughts of my breath, my gaze, and sticking to the vinyasa. I was particularly amazed at how much less flexible my hamstrings were compared to last week's full vinyasa. And no, I did not do full vinyasa today. Just half vinyasa, which is really regular vinyasa. Anyway...

Dragged myself home after practice looking forward to some peace and a couple of runny eggs, but alas the bf had already eaten the last two. No problem! I took a breath (very yogically[sp]) and had yogurt instead with some toast which turned out to be a bit moldy but no problem! Nothing is going to ruin my peace today. I caught Obama on the View. Yes, I do enjoy some ridiculous daytime television. So what?

As I type, I'm looking at the enormous pile of laundry and just cannot be bothered. It will have to wait. Today the priority is putting together April's Living Mysore Magazine which is really exciting...

Pincha is getting much better, but not in the sense that one might assume. Its about getting confident. It is knowing that when you kick, you'll get there. It is the same with any posture. Its practicing with mindfulness and integrity. Mid kick, this is what my teacher told me (even though I was really enthusiastic about getting my hands to shift as evidenced by my rug wrinkled at the top of my mat). He said that it wasn't so much the jump back, but coming up with confidence that he was looking for. Everyone has something different to work on, and I guess that's my challenge. It makes sense though. I think about how a few months from now I'll be back in Mysore and eventually maybe getting to pincha mayurasana and kicking up with confidence. You've got to otherwise you'll fall on top of someone!

The work

So what is "the work"? I think it depends a bit on the perspective. In the previous post, I was referring to certain incidents that made my role as a teacher particularly challenging. I'm thinking about:

-teaching a class at a certain level that it is advertised as and the students aren't willing to practice at that level. Let's say it was a basics class, but the students who came were more advanced and refused to listen to instructions for a basic level class. In a basics class, much of the learning is visual, so a beginner will look to someone who looks like they know what they are doing and will copy them, no matter if it corresponds with the verbal instructions given by the instructor. This isn't specifically what happened, but it was similar, and anyway, this has happened before.

The point isn't to control the class and have a power trip. It is that the lesson that is trying to be conveyed will not be clear and will be of less benefit to all of the students. In this case, doing the work would mean humbling oneself and taking the class that is being taught or being honest with oneself and choosing to attend a more appropriate class rather than disrupting other students and disrespecting the instructor.

Now I realize that this is not the intention of the student. I know. I've been that student. You're at class and you want to get your practice in. You remember something you learned in another class, last week, or something that might feel good and you do it because it is your time to do yoga. And then up comes the teacher (maybe) and you're like "what a jerk!". I know, I've totally been there!

-Failing to inform instructor beforehand of injuries and concerns. Might not seem like a big deal, but can be really difficult as a teacher. The work here would be being honest about physical limitations (letting go of ego), but also trusting the instructor to do their job. Oh, and listening to the teacher's advice on how to approach practice with these in consideration.

Okay, so upon further thought, I think that most other things I could mention fall into these main categories of "doing the work":

1. Listening to your teacher

this means that you have an open dialogue with your instructor about what is going on with you and trusting them to give you well-informed feedback. They have seen so many bodies over the course of their careers that it is probable that they know what they are talking about. Both of the above example fall under this category.

2. Practicing like you mean it

example: if you saw my back bending video, you saw me fidgeting around, thinking about how I felt tight, how it was cold, how I was hungry, how I was tired, etc. Did I need to to that? No. I let myself do it. I gave myself permission to give up. So doing the work here is pushing your edge. It also means practicing wholeheartedly and consistently. That's when you really see results.

Hey, none of us are perfect, that's why they call it practice! We all have to work at doing the work.

I think everything falls into those two categories, but I'll have to think about it. This is such an overwhelming topic. It deserves much more than what I've worked through here. Any thoughts?