Tittibhasana -- Day 4

It is only Tuesday. Wow. I am so sore. Everything is tired. Each step is like I've walked all day. I just want to sleep and do nothing. I wonder how people are able to get into ashtanga without getting really into it. I mean, some days, it takes it all out of me. In Mysore, you practice, you eat, you rest. In "real" life, you practice, you eat, and you do everything that everyone else does too. I wonder how many people out there are able to maintain whatever their "normal" lives were prior to the jump into ashtanga. Does everyone gradually move towards a lifestyle that revolves around practice? It could also be what you do for a living. People that work with their hands are probably more tired in general than people who work in office settings, no?

Three more days of practice this week. I don't know the last time I've counted down like this. I think part of it is practice and part of it is the waking up so early. But what other choice is there? Early morning wake up is great once in a while. When the sun is shining on your face its great. I love the idea of it and the idea of myself being an early bird. The reality? :(

People who practice other styles have got nothing on us (except perhaps non attachment...). Try doing a pose one day. It feels good in the body, you feel the sensation, maybe you are sore, etc. The second day you revisit the pose you find something new. You crawl out past the places you've already discovered and you seek out the limits of the shape. Day three, you convince yourself you are a pro at the pose. You come to it like you knew it was coming. Your body is ready for the signal to settle into what it knows. But try doing it again and again and again. And keep doing it. That's a whole different story. You start finding walls, both mental and physical. You are tired and you are sore. Sometimes you want to give up. But the difference is for us (I think) the poses slowly become a part of us until you get to a point where you can climb in and have a seat. You can look around and settle in. Stira sukham asanam? Hmmm.

Tittibhasana -- Days 2 and 3

I was one part optimistic and one part completely petrified about meeting tittibhasana on Sunday. After three days off (Thursday primary, Friday moonday, Saturday rest day), I was completely disoriented in my own body. It all started with the sprint out of bed when I remembered daylight savings (please explain to me why the US is doing this early). Then I get to the shala and the practice room is all moved around. I already am feeling funny, but then, I finish my surya namaskars and decide that its time to go to pasasana. Something felt weird, but so did the whole morning, and it wasn't until I finished krounchasana that I realized I was super tight not because I was still cold from being outside (which I was), but because I didn't do any standing postures. That was embarrassing.

The truth is, I wasn't thinking about the poses at all. But I wasn't thinking about my laundry list either. I was thinking about mulhabandha. I've gone through stages in my practice history where I really focus on it and others where I take it for granted, but after Thursday, it was at the top of my mind. I was concentrating so much on my anus and vagina that I forgot what the hell I was doing! Ha ha!

Laughing, I stood up and started my standing postures. But still, practice was strange. Everything felt awkward and gawky. And afterwards, it felt like it happened so fast. I kept thinking, "that's it?" Was it perhaps because it was fun? David Williams said that when you practice, you are either in one of two states. The first is yoga therapy and the second is cheap thrills. It did feel pretty good...

Tittibhasana was much better! Still, the same problems yesterday and today. Jumping to tittibhasana is easy. Doing it well is the hard part. On Sunday I jumped once, took a few breaths, then came down and readjusted so my legs were higher. Its cheating, but oh well. Today I jumped once and told myself that I would make it work. With my legs higher on Sunday, I was able to swing my feet down by hands with some grace. It seems the key is to get the thighs moving toward one another and the seat high (i.e. engage bandhas). Today, as my legs weren't as high, it was much more difficult to get the height and I had to rely on my strength to get me there which was much more difficult.

Recently, someone told me that they heard that primary series was the hardest series to learn because in it, you learn all the fundamentals and that the other series are just variations of these. I do see how the vinyasas into and out of bhujapidasana and kurmasana lead to tittibhasana...

Binding in B was ok on both days. Walking was okay. The key is not to think, just walk, otherwise the mind starts thinking about how much the thighs burn. D, surprisingly, came naturally, even though I really thought I'd be afraid to fall over. That said, it might have looked like crap on the outside....Then back to A really tired and creaking to bakasana and then jumping to chatvari.

What is frustrating is that I get to downdog and I'm tired, but not that tired. I feel like I have lots of energy still and I wish that I could have used that energy to do what I was trying to do in tittibhasana. I know that with time it will come. The body and muscles have to figure out how to do what I want them to do and this is all very new to me...

Recently Watched: Into the Wild. Verdict: thumbs up!
Recently Read: The Kite Runner. Verdict: good story.
Currently Reading: Yoga Sutras.

David Williams edited the last post, so please check out the updated info.

Tittibhasana - A User's Manual

"Be careful what you wish for."

These are the words my teacher says to me with a smile as I stand there after practice, still shaking. Today I got Tittibhasana.

Now this is one of those poses (or clusters of poses, really) that I never EVER really thought I would be doing. I mean, there is always the fantasy of me floating through the air in fifth series postures, but I know that they aren't ever going to happen--except they did today.

I hung out in yoganidrasana as long as possible. Just breathing, hoping I don't know, maybe to hide? Yesterday Guy said that I'd get Tittibhasana today. "No new poses on Tuesdays," he laughs. All day I was thinking to myself how he is crazy and there is no way that that is ever going to happen. At the same time, he gives poses out about as frequently as Sharath, so if you get a pose, you know you are ready for it. Still, I was convinced I might break in half this time.

So there I am in yoganidrasana. I didn't get an adjustment, so I figured I might slip by. I did chakrasana, took a few breaths in downdog and then I heard it, "jump your legs around your arms." Its funny how you always know when your teacher is talking to you, even if it is across the room.

1.) How to jump legs around arms so they land high? I can jump them, but I feel like I can't get my arms deep enough under my thighs. Maybe I should just jump to handstand and then lower down from a straddle on Sunday. Yes, that's what I'll do, no problem.

5 breaths here in Tittibhasana (with pointed toes), then swing legs to the floor around hands.

2.) Feet were too wide apart. They need to be pretty close in to the hands. Maybe squeeze thighs together a bit more?

Then lock hands behind waist and look to navel without falling over. Don't know if my legs were straight. There was just so much going on. And I was laughing involuntarily almost the entire time. 5 breaths here. Then walk.

3. Figuring out how to walk was pretty challenging. The first steps were not steps at all, just little shuffles. Then, I got a momentum. Inhale step right exhale step left. My fingernails were digging into my fingers. My thighs were burning. 5 breaths later, I have to now walk backwards. By this time, I can feel the blood rushing to my thighs. I can feel them turning into jelly. I am struggling to recall the last time I was working this hard. I am covered in sweat. I think I lose my grip and come up for air. I say something like "oh my god!" And then dive back in to finish walking back. I can feel the whole class watching me, I feel like I'm giving childbirth I'm making so much noise. I complete 5 breaths and Guy says, "One more!". I huff and puff and take one more right and left step back. Then the feet come together. I stand up for air. My legs are useless at this point.

4. Saving enough energy to bring heels together, interlace hands around tops of feet, look to navel, AND not fall over. 5 very quick breaths and faith in a teacher later, titibasana. I sigh heavily, probably say, "THANK YOU!" again. I rock back onto my hands, lift my feet, struggle to lift my jello legs, bakasana, jump back. "Next time 5 breaths tittibhasana and bakasana and then jump back". I look at him and say, "That was so hard! You got me this time! I had no idea!" He just smiles. I lie down with all circuits firing. The rest is a blur in the wake of tittibhasana. Back bending, finishing, resting.

I never really thought I'd be doing leg behind the head stuff with confidence, but it is true, just a few weeks later and my neck is a million times stronger. After the initial shock wheres off, my muscles and mind will remember that these poses are possible. Slowly slowly.

Be careful what you wish for.

David Williams is in town for a weekend workshop. I've got a pass for the first night's talk which is not to be missed (and a bit of chat time for the magazine). This is also during the time I am supposed to teach a brand new class. What to do? Sub it out and make a totally bad impression? Teach it and miss out on meeting a legend? What to do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWdO7RmTs5M

Oh, youtube, how I love you! This is a video I found on youtube posted by ashtangaboi. Enjoy!