Stay tuned...

The scoop on last night's Danny Paradise workshop at Om factory NYC!

Monday

Sunday was spent alternating between smiling and crying and sometimes both at the same time. What will happen with me an my boyfriend when we/I go to India? What is the right choice, what will happen, how will I live alone? I'm disgusted with myself for even writing this because it is just so cheesy and dramatic but so very real at the same time. Life decisions. Bleh/yay!

On a separate (and also related) note, I'll be interviewing Kate Churchill on her upcoming film, Enlighten Up! for Living Mysore Magazine. Please send any questions you'd like me to ask to livingmysore@gmail.com.

Let the Magic Begin...

I'm standing in line (yes "in", not "on"--New York hasn't completely taken over yet) at the local post office. It is the first 80 degree day since last year and it is hot. Being there is a real trial in how badly you really want to mail something. To go there is to face all adversity in the name of something you believe in. Today, I believe I need to go to India--and dammit, I will stand in this godforsaken line as long as it takes with no food, water, nor ipod until I reach the window to mail this letter. Luckily, I picked a book off the coffee table at the last second before embarking upon this perilous journey.

I decided to read Eat, Pray, Love again. I read it shortly before leaving for India last year, and sitting there on the library shelf, I simply couldn't resist the cover.

Burying myself in this small bit of redemption, I read the following lines:

"Then I listened to the Guru speak in person for the first time, and her words gave me chill bumps over my whole body, even across the skin of my face. And when I heard she had an Ashram in India, I knew I must take myself there as quickly as possible." (p. 25.)

Just as the period falls on the end of the last sentence, the "next customer" sign lights up, the bell rings, I walk to the bullet-proof window, pass the letter in my hand through the slot provided and declare, "I'd like to mail this to India!"

Yoga Bitches (and how not to become one)

In many ways, New York City is the best place to practice yoga and not because of the teachers (though they are in abundance). Its because this place can just throw so much at you! Some days (like today) I can step back for a second and just laugh at how wound up and crazy this little world is. I suppose it is easier to put these things into perspective when it is approaching 80 degrees outside and you know that you'll be saying goodbye soon.

So, while I am here, I hope to enjoy myself, spend time with friends and family, and share what I can about yoga. Going over this list when I find myself feeling frustrated or trapped has been helpful. So, why write about it now? Because there is always a part of me that gets really frustrated and wants to just say "you know what? fuck this and fuck you." Hey, I'm only human. But the part of me that is growing more and more is the part that says, "this is why we practice, this is why this is so important".

Clip from "Yoga Inc."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBQpQyQrGMQ


Ok, so how not to become a yoga bitch. In the Satchidananda translation of the Yoga Sutras, he talks about how you should be selfish in keeping your mind at peace. Is it possible that we can overdo it? What I find interesting about the ashtanga yoga practice (in the lineage of KPJ), is that there is an emphasis on it being a householder's yoga, meaning, it is yoga for people that live in society, rather than in caves. For anyone that has been on a yoga retreat, you know how easy it is to get in the "zen" mode. When there are fewer distractions and you are immersed in an environment that emphasizes this way of life, it is easier to fall into step. Not so easy being mindful when you are stuck in traffic, when your dog pisses on the sofa, when you get the shaft at work, etc., etc. So, this yoga is for us to use to figure out how to function as happy, healthy individuals in this world, in this society, in this city.

(Admittedly, it is not easy to renounce everything and go and live in a cave and vipassana isn't a walk in the park either...)

So, the point is to become functioning citizens rather that elitist pricks, right? Is it possible? Maybe not in every situation, but I'd like to hope that yoga is putting more out there that is good rather than bad.

I think it has. I want to believe that here in the west, it is still in its beginning. We're still working on perfecting asana and the rest will come, slowly, slowly.

Recently read: Remember me? Chick lit. Cute.
Recently viewed: Lars and the Real Girl. fab!

Practice, practice, practice

In the wake of yesterday's interview with Guy (for the May issue of Living Mysore Magazine, I am grasping for some firm ground. The conclusion?

No too tight, not too loose.

Obsess and don't obsess. Find the middle ground.

What keeps speaking to me is this question, "why are we doing this yoga?" The answer keeps coming as "to transform".

Example. My body is physically changing. It is adapting to the new challenges of my practice, it is getting stronger, lighter, and the shape is slowly shifting.

Example. My mind is changing. Thinking of the physical aspects of practice, there is no one day that I am performing. I am not practicing and practicing these postures so that one day I can show them off. I can't just fast so that the next day I "feel light" and then can do a certain posture. The choices I make for what I put into my body are long-term habit changes. Every day is the performance, everyday is the practice. Everything has to change.

Example. But why does it have to change? Am I obsessing over asana? Kind of, but not really. I am obsessing over cultivating mindfulness in my thoughts and actions. It is watching myself as I move through the world the entire 22 hours until the next asana session. The whole day is "doing yoga".

On this entire physical/mental shift fostered by the asana practice, it is interesting how one would think that "oh everything is perfect and now I will just work on this one thing", when actually this one thing effects everything else. I remember when I did this workshop with this Ayurvedic teacher that was all about Mind Body Centering and she was talking about how when you get an organ removed, that sickness and pain that was there is still there because the issue was never solved. How could it still linger even when the physical organ was gone? It is simple. Everything in the body is connected to everything else. When an organ is removed, the body doesn't think, "okay, the right kidney is gone, oh well." In this same way, getting a new posture changes your entire practice and then changes your entire life. Everything is different, everything is connected.

Excited about this Danny Paradise workshop coming up at Om Factory next week. It is always interesting to hear different points of view. Also hyped about Mysore, so I dug up this info to inspire!

Ashtanga Yoga in Mysore, India
General Mysore Info:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At_JswBti28
http://www.livingmysore.com/


Ajay



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWuquyM5VXg
http://www.sthalam8.com/index.php?sub_page=ajay

Sheshadari



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=574KxzmIH3E
http://mandala.ashtanga.org/index.php/sheshadri

BNS Iyengar



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClWOwVHvLQU
http://ashtanga.org/lineage/bns_iyengar.shtml

Sharath/Guruji/Saraswati



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3-8Te30H6k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKQw0-IlJiY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3mzQ83Gk8A
http://www.ayri.org/

Another keyword search: which leg first in krounchasana?

That one is easy! Jump through from downdog with the right leg bent and left leg up like in triangmukha eka pada paschimottanasana. Then do a vinyasa and jump through with the left leg bent and right leg up. Pretty much its always right leg first. There are a few exceptions though. For instance, you twist to the left side first in pasasana. Why does it say to twist to the right first in David Swenson's book? *Shrug*

The unanswered questions

What the world really wants to know.

I just installed this new stat counter that does keyword analysis. The things that people search for are very interesting. Here are some of the latest and my best answers...

cave swami chamundi: Used to be a journalist, I think, before renouncing and becoming a swami. Now he lives in a cave at Chamundi Hill. Many students go to him to learn chanting (I've heard). Here's my experience with him: Chamundi Hill

nuno ashtanga: The two Nunos I know are both from Portugal and are both ashtanga teachers. One of the Nunos is currently assisting Tomas Zorzo in Spain and has a blog (Nuno's blog). The other Nuno is teaching in Portugal.

undergarments shop in mysore: I think there is a jockey store...better to bring your own.

hands behind waist: what could this possibly be referring to?

back pain iyengar yoga: yes?

can women eat chyawanprash: dear god I hope so!

dehli belly: sucks. pack grapefruit seed extract and wormwood.

triphala dreams: constipated?

tips for vinyasa jump back: good question. will think of good answer.

ajay ashtanga mysore:
http://www.sthalam8.com/index.php?sub_page=classes


should when you are sick yoga: yes, unless fever.

pneumonia in mysore: would suck.

dark mark on my chin: I bet its from jumping back from pincha!

:)

Feed me!

Some days you go through your practice and everything is like clockwork, other days, it is an out of body experience. The human body is so interesting in that it is never the same, always changing, and through ashtanga practice (as we are doing the same thing everyday) one can really feel and see the difference from one day to the next.

I have noticed a change the last couple of days. I'm still dreading certain poses when they come up, but once I'm there, I notice that the panic mode turns off and I can actually get a bit deeper than I had imagined. It reminds me of being a kid how I yelled and screamed to not take a bath, but then once I got it in it was so warm and nice! In other parts of my practice, I'm noticing soreness from my body shape changing as I learn to use muscles differently. And with all these changes, primary feels very different.

Besides the shifts caused by daily practice, a woman's cycle, day of the week, and energy level, there are the shifts caused by food. Since moving from "veganism" to "vegetarianism" in October, I've noticed some changes. I can't tell if I have more energy, but I am definitely stronger than I was before, but that could be just because I've decided to challenge myself a bit more. I feel like I was lighter (pounds wise) before, but I feel more toned now.

What I have really noticed is how the timing of meals effects my practice as well as the amount of bread I eat. This weekend I went to a wedding and practice yesterday and today has suffered for it. And now that the days are longer and brighter, I don't seem to have much of an appetite and find myself eating out of habit. Bleh.

Sore wrists from all the press handstand stuff on Friday and from my extra playtime during self practice yesterday. My bf assisted me in karandavasana. That was funny.

From Ashtanga Yoga Sangha on Food and Practice:
"Diet, how and when you eat is probably the most important factor for yoga practice.
Food suggestions from the Hatha Yoga Pradipika
http://aysnyc.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=31&Itemid=165
Bitter, sour and salty tastes, unripe vegetables, fermented/rotting and oily foods, intoxicating liquors, fish, meat, yoghurt, chick peas, oil-cake, asafoetida (hinga), garlic, onion, etc., should not be eaten. Food heated again, dry, having too much salt, sour, indigestable grains, and vegetables that cause burning sensation, should not be eaten. Wheat, rice, barley, corn, milk, ghee, natural sugar, butter, honey, dried ginger, snake gourd, the five vegetables (5 leafy greens mentioned in GS), mung beans, pure water, these are very beneficial to those who practice Yoga. A yogi or yogini should eat tonics (things giving strength), well sweetened, made with ghee, milk butter, etc., which may increase humors of the body, according to his or her desire. "

Jumping into paradise

I'll be the one wearing the Havaianas.

It is official. Yesterday was our first 70 degree day since October and the flip flops are out and staying out. On some blocks, I can smell human pee and tree blossoms. Spring is surely on the way. It was so painful getting used to closed-toe shoes after India. I fought it to the very end last fall until my toes were painfully cold. And now, I've got little pink "almost-blisters" as my feet transition into warm weather attire. But it isn't just the early signs of summer that makes the Havaianas so needed, its that they are incredibly squishy and the balls of my feet are tender from my pincha "timbers".

I spent the afternoon playing around at New York's Om Factory with Paul, Emily, and Fara. I was giving them jump through tips (not that they really needed them) and Paul was giving us "press" handstand tricks. We were in the middle of the room, at the wall, on blocks, straddling to handstand, jumping, "bakasana-ing", lifting, etc., all with bellies full of Indian food. I figure if I could make a handstand-to-bakasana (among other things) happen then, that says something. So Paul (whom I regularly steal vinyasa sequences from because he is great) has me on this little extra-curricular "lift-up therapy" program. I promise to youtube it if (like he promises) I can lift up to handstand from uttanasana with a straddle minus props.

(Om Factory is this really amazing space in midtown. Danny Paradise is doing a workshop there on Earth Day, April 22, and to my happy surprise, I'll be there! Looking forward to it for sure. Now if I can only see David Swenson soon, I'll have re-created an "ashtanga mela" of my very own...)

So what inspired this little yoga sesh? Well, if you get a couple of yoga peeps together, something like that is bound to happen, but also I just got the new Kino DVD, and I've had some of the stuff she talks about on my mind. The first part of the dvd (about 20 min I think) is about Kino, her Shala, and her practice. The second part (also about 20 min) is a look into one of her workshops in which she discusses the basic principals of re-learning how to walk on your hands. Although it is hard for all of us to believe, she says that when she first saw people lifting up handstand, floating, etc., she was like "there is no way!"

So, practice, practice, practice...

Oh and I think that exploring that mysterious and uncharted area of my body that controls the lifting is the key to this whole floating/karandavasana business. Or maybe not. But it is an interesting journey.

dvd preview on youtube:

A Journey

I'm watching my fellow back bender/friend/former student trying to figure out how to stand up. She's so close and although I've never done it (tried to help/talk to another student during class) before, I got her attention and motioned for her to try something. She did it and then stood up. She probably felt good, but I felt bad.

I really learned something in that moment and it was more than just to act like a student when you are a student. I learned that there is a method to this madness. She was so close, it was obvious. Standing up was as close as an answer stolen from the tip of your tongue. I stole her chance to figure it out.

This got me thinking about this journey we are on. If all the answers were just handed to us, we would not have the journey, or, at least, not to the extent that one experiences after working hard for something for a long time and finally "getting it". But it is all a balance. It is a little bit of putting in the effort, a little bit of training wheels, and a whole lot of courage, patience, and persistence. Practice, practice, practice.

What was the point, really of what I did? No point. It wasn't really a big deal either, except that it got me thinking about these other things which are important. I think of my own practice and how good it feels to figure something out. How good it feels to complete a crossword puzzle. I don't want the answers, I don't want the cliff's notes, well, not all the time at least! I want the chance to try my hardest, to see if my inner knowledge (or whatever) can find the answer.

It is kind of like going to India. No one really offers to help you figure it out. They all know it is about the journey and figuring it out along the way...

Constant "asana-ing"

Yesterday's Post:
I'm locking up my bike after riding home from a class with no students and I'm thinking, "what the hell am I doing?" Am I really one of those crazy, hippie, new age weirdos that walks away from "rational" life choices, straight into the chaos of an open-ended trip to who knows what end? Part of me keeps saying that I am testing the limits. I am seeing how far I can get from ...

Didn't finish it. Day turned out to be too busy. Anyway, on to today!

I'm sitting on my heels, breathing after karandavasana.

"Am I doing any of it?" I ask.

"Yes, you're the one wobbling," I laugh.

I have to change everything, think of everything in terms of getting light, learning to fly, karandavasana. It has given me a new perspective on practice and how to approach the asanas for sure. When you're thinking of kurmasana, you think about how everything can open your hips. When you're thinking about ustrasana, you're thinking about getting into your upward dogs. When you're thinking about karandavasana, you're thinking about how to keep your mind in your pelvis and to keep it light.

Just some musings, because, well, I think that's what I do!

Currently reading: Into the Wild
Earlier today: slept through the opera, Satyagraha.

Countdown to India

After three days off, I'm glad to be going back to practice tomorrow, but also amazed at how easy it would be to just forget the whole thing because practice seems so impossible and far away. There really is a 24 hour expiration on yoga.

Spent a lot of time with the family the last couple of weeks and now things have officially sprung into motion. With the official (and somewhat surprising) blessings of both sides of the family tree, the countdown begins. Next up is sending my letter and buying my ticket, giving my leave to work, selling all personal possessions, finding a sublet, and saying goodbye to friends. I'm a bit in shock, a little scared, and very excited...

Yoga Is Life

I'm talking with my career counselor. "What would you be doing if you won the lottery and could just do whatever you wanted?"

My answer: "What I'm doing now, except, I'd have money."

I have to smile. I have to laugh.

I teared, yes teared while watching this preview when they showed the clip of the world map heading to Mysore. Tomorrow is a moonday. That has to be the reason...



Tracy just started her "tour of duty" in the Peace Corps. Yoga Is Life.

Duck, duck,...goose!

I will wear a grin all day...Today I got karandavasana!

This is a moment that I NEVER thought would happen. Never ever. I suppose the next moment that could possibly never happen is coming up and going down with integrity, but there is no rush.

Feeling very productive and super-amped from practice, I published April's Livingmysore magazine and am now watching karandavasana videos on youtube while the sun shines in through my window. Sometimes I really like my life.

"Karandavasana" from reynoldl


"Karandavasana" from ashtangaboi


"Sanya's karandavasana" from yogayantra


"Karandavasana - Demo by Russell Case" from bestbuychi


But what I really want is to see a strong woman do it! Come on ladies, let's show 'em how it is done...

I just ordered Kino's new DVD. If anyone can do it, she can!

April Fool's and the One Kick Wonder

The day began like any other. I woke to an alarm, hit snooze, and then bolted into what I hoped would be a hot shower. The gods were in my favor. I walked through the rain onto the subway. I watched, fighting feelings of disgust (think yoga, peace E, peace) as I watched the myriad of construction workers of all shapes and only large sizes scratching their balls, sleeping with their mouths open, and taking up two seats on the subway. I get to my 6am class at 5:30. Hooray! I'm early! Alas, the door is locked. Looks like class is cancelled. Bummer for the students, bummer for me. I write a note and head downtown to the shala where I am the second person through the door (a rare and auspicious occurrence).

So I was thinking a lot about thinking and the importance of not thinking. Poses that are hard if you think too much: bakasana B, tittibhasana, pincha mayurasana. I can easily psych myself out. "Oh, I'll probably stick it on the 3rd or 4th try..." and other miscellaneous self deprecating thoughts flow freely. But I decided its like sports. You visualize the success. You KNOW you will do it. You become confident in your ability and then you ride the wave through your obstacle into success.

I've been giving myself these little confidence-boosting pep talks and it works! I'm getting bakasana B on first try. I'm kicking up to pincha for the second day in a row on the first kick. Not bad. Its good when your relationship with a pose gets to a point where it is a part of you. You don't fight against it because you've already initiated a compromise from past experience. Looking forward to that with pincha.

I think that on the way to no thinking is positive thinking...Oh, and I'm getting my hands to move in the exit vinyasa for pincha!

Battle Scars and tips for laghuvajrasana

It is my "me" day and no one is around. I've got my place to myself with no real pressing obligations. I decide to put on this organic clay, cruelty-free, green tea, etc., etc. face mask. As I smear the cold green goop across my cheeks and over my chin, I notice a dark mark. I gave it a little rub thinking that somehow I got tire grease from two days ago or subway funk from yesterday stuck under my chin and forgot to wash it off. And then I remembered the day prior and my spirited attempts at pincha mayurasana + jump back. On one of these joyous little hand-slide, tree-falling like landings, my chest was too low between my hands and my chin knocked the floor in time with the balls of my feet, and then I was in chatarunga. I didn't pay it much heed until that moment in the mirror.

I recall other tell-tale ashtanga practice battle scars. The time I was learning bhujapidasana + jump back and I fell smack on my face. The many times I landed on my chin. Bruises on the tops of my feet from triangmukha ekapada paschimottanasana. Waddling home every day after practice during that first month of deep assists in supta kurmasana. The bruises on the backs of my arms when I finally learned the bhujapidasana exit vinyasa. The throbbing pain in my low back after I started second series that sent panic over my whole body whenever I missed a step. The bruises I had on my wrists after my first attempt at supta vajrasana.

And then there are the new ones. The cat-scratch like marks on my shoulders which I think are blood blisters that come and go depending on the day from supta vajrasana. The return of the bruises on the backs of my arms from bakasana and bakasana transitions. The sore neck and upper back muscles from leg-behind-the-head poses. The burning thighs that sear with every pressing of my foot on the bike pedal and every stair I see from tittibhasana. And now, the rug burns on my elbows from pincha mayurasana and the bruise on my chin from the exit vinyasa.

But I feel great! Looking forward to practice tomorrow where I get another chance to conquer my fear of falling over in pincha mayurasana and finally get up and hold in one kick.

Today in practice I noticed someone new at lagu (and like most of us) struggling to figure it out. I am by no means an expert and am not the person with the greatest lagu ever. But, I have struggled with the pose and every time I go for it, there is a chance that I won't make it out! So here are some things that have helped me, and maybe they will help you.

1. When you are in parva dhanurasana and dhanurasana, you kick strongly with your shins into your hands, away from your butt. Try to really get into this action and remember what it feels like. This is going to help you come up.

2. It is easier to come up with your hands closer to your knees. However, this is no longer the correct method. The hands should be around the ankles.

3. Once you have your ankles with your hands, hold on tight.

4. As you begin to lower down, try to keep your pelvis moving forward (away from the floor). But remember, this isn't a back bend like kapotasana. You are reaching your pelvis forward to keep control of your center of gravity.

5. Also, as you lower down, keep kicking your feet and shins into the floor as in dhanurasana. This will keep your legs active and your pelvis and center of gravity moving toward your knees and away from the floor.

6. Be sure to keep your grip tight with your hands.

7. It helps some people to have the wrists resting over the heels. When you are ready to come up, simultaneously kick your feet and shins down, shift your pelvis forward, and flick your wrists (you can push off from your heels with your wrists) pressing the hands firmly down into your legs and coming up.

Okay, that is one way. The other way is:

sapta: inhale jump to shins with hands on waist

astau: exhale laghuvajrasana for five breaths

nava: inhale come up with hands on waist

Finding ease in difficulty

I was one part relieved to practice primary today (hoping for a relaxing/comforting practice) and two parts so tired I wanted to just go to sleep. It has been a long, emotionally and physically taxing week and I'm spent. After teaching early this morning, I tried not to think and just let my feet drag me down to the shala. I had no proper practice clothes (not so fun with all the jumping and no sports bra), was tired, sore, etc. I let all that leave my mind and replaced it with thoughts of my breath, my gaze, and sticking to the vinyasa. I was particularly amazed at how much less flexible my hamstrings were compared to last week's full vinyasa. And no, I did not do full vinyasa today. Just half vinyasa, which is really regular vinyasa. Anyway...

Dragged myself home after practice looking forward to some peace and a couple of runny eggs, but alas the bf had already eaten the last two. No problem! I took a breath (very yogically[sp]) and had yogurt instead with some toast which turned out to be a bit moldy but no problem! Nothing is going to ruin my peace today. I caught Obama on the View. Yes, I do enjoy some ridiculous daytime television. So what?

As I type, I'm looking at the enormous pile of laundry and just cannot be bothered. It will have to wait. Today the priority is putting together April's Living Mysore Magazine which is really exciting...

Pincha is getting much better, but not in the sense that one might assume. Its about getting confident. It is knowing that when you kick, you'll get there. It is the same with any posture. Its practicing with mindfulness and integrity. Mid kick, this is what my teacher told me (even though I was really enthusiastic about getting my hands to shift as evidenced by my rug wrinkled at the top of my mat). He said that it wasn't so much the jump back, but coming up with confidence that he was looking for. Everyone has something different to work on, and I guess that's my challenge. It makes sense though. I think about how a few months from now I'll be back in Mysore and eventually maybe getting to pincha mayurasana and kicking up with confidence. You've got to otherwise you'll fall on top of someone!

The work

So what is "the work"? I think it depends a bit on the perspective. In the previous post, I was referring to certain incidents that made my role as a teacher particularly challenging. I'm thinking about:

-teaching a class at a certain level that it is advertised as and the students aren't willing to practice at that level. Let's say it was a basics class, but the students who came were more advanced and refused to listen to instructions for a basic level class. In a basics class, much of the learning is visual, so a beginner will look to someone who looks like they know what they are doing and will copy them, no matter if it corresponds with the verbal instructions given by the instructor. This isn't specifically what happened, but it was similar, and anyway, this has happened before.

The point isn't to control the class and have a power trip. It is that the lesson that is trying to be conveyed will not be clear and will be of less benefit to all of the students. In this case, doing the work would mean humbling oneself and taking the class that is being taught or being honest with oneself and choosing to attend a more appropriate class rather than disrupting other students and disrespecting the instructor.

Now I realize that this is not the intention of the student. I know. I've been that student. You're at class and you want to get your practice in. You remember something you learned in another class, last week, or something that might feel good and you do it because it is your time to do yoga. And then up comes the teacher (maybe) and you're like "what a jerk!". I know, I've totally been there!

-Failing to inform instructor beforehand of injuries and concerns. Might not seem like a big deal, but can be really difficult as a teacher. The work here would be being honest about physical limitations (letting go of ego), but also trusting the instructor to do their job. Oh, and listening to the teacher's advice on how to approach practice with these in consideration.

Okay, so upon further thought, I think that most other things I could mention fall into these main categories of "doing the work":

1. Listening to your teacher

this means that you have an open dialogue with your instructor about what is going on with you and trusting them to give you well-informed feedback. They have seen so many bodies over the course of their careers that it is probable that they know what they are talking about. Both of the above example fall under this category.

2. Practicing like you mean it

example: if you saw my back bending video, you saw me fidgeting around, thinking about how I felt tight, how it was cold, how I was hungry, how I was tired, etc. Did I need to to that? No. I let myself do it. I gave myself permission to give up. So doing the work here is pushing your edge. It also means practicing wholeheartedly and consistently. That's when you really see results.

Hey, none of us are perfect, that's why they call it practice! We all have to work at doing the work.

I think everything falls into those two categories, but I'll have to think about it. This is such an overwhelming topic. It deserves much more than what I've worked through here. Any thoughts?

Live to practice or practice to live

I missed and missed practice at the shala this morning. It wasn't my fault, but was probably for the best. Spent half an hour waiting on a train platform to get there and when it was clear that the train was either not coming or I was going to be way too late, I walked home.

I haven't had coffee in years. I hadn't had a deuce since Monday. I decided that instead of farting up the shala, I'd get a coffee and take matters into my own hands. It worked. And now I get a nice practice at home with music in the background. And why not? Was today the day I'd get karandavasana? Maybe. Should that matter? Nope. Do I live to practice or practice to live?

Teaching yoga. Oh, teaching yoga. So great, so fun, so rewarding. So hard, so challenging, so annoying. Yesterday, I taught way too much, was way too tired, had a hard emotional weekend, was angrily constipated and snapped at a student. I felt and still feel horrible.

Teaching yoga is hard and it isn't just "teaching" yoga. What is it that students want and what on earth are they coming for? To sweat? To lose weight? For spiritual peace? To stretch? To do crazy shit? It could be none or all of those reasons and more and somehow as the teacher you're supposed to cater to all of this or none of this. It shouldn't matter, you should be able to teach what you feel is best for the students. But that isn't always the case. Numbers count and you've got to pay your rent. I've found that most people want a cushy, nice teacher, who will help boost their ego in a not so obvious way. Hey, I'm probably that student too to some extent, or at least have been at one point or another. Very few really want to do the real work. This isn't to say that people don't come to class with good intentions, they do. It is that it is hard to develop and things that are hard aren't always fun.

In a recent post, Steve Dwelley talks about fundamentalists in yoga and Guy responds:

"A lot of times we are confronted in life with our likes and dislikes, laziness, apathy, greed etc…. in yoga practice too! If every time as a practitioner we say: “today I dont feel like doing any forward bends, only backbends, or today I feel like breathing through my mouth” and the teacher says: “fine, whatever”, then the student will never develop a true and healthy practice.

Part of going into yoga is over coming our subjective likes and dislikes and going through a process of dissolving the ego. For this strong and consistent discipline is required. If the practice is changing daily it cannot act as a reference point for Self knowledge, if the teacher also changes his or her tune daily, he or she can also not act as such a reference point."

Some days the classes are small and the students give me angry little faces. It takes it all out of me. Other days, everything clicks and we are all better for it. I try to detach myself from these ups and downs and try to stay true to the fact that I am giving my best and always doing all I can to look out for the students. I'm human like everyone else and get attached to these fluctuations. It is hard. Its a practice.

Eka Pada Video

I know that many people have trouble with leg-behind-the-head poses. I usually do a warm-up before hand. Here is a video of my teacher and I warming up before practice this morning:




Just kidding!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksT-YAiMxIo
This is a Tripsichore Yoga Performance with Edward Clark :)

Ashtanga Yoga Practice Videos and Flicks

The Shala is closed today for the holiday, so I thought it would be fun to take some flicks while I practiced at home. I've been walking a lot and we don't have the heat on, so it was an interesting practice. Anyway, the BF and I had fun...Enjoy!

Pincha Mayurasana



Back bending



More videos:
http://www.youtube.com/livingmysore

Eka Pada Sirsasana



More Pictures:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/livingmysore/sets/
72157604219882613/