Lazy Sunday

Today is a slow, easy Sunday in Mysore. Everyone sleeping and walking leisurely to meet friends. The sun is shining but its not too hot, and I´m wondering whether my clothes will be ready tomorrow. I dropped my laundry off to get washed, but the guy didn´t speak any English he just put up three fingers and said ``three``. I was like 3 days? hours? Who knows? I think that it might be 3 whole days because they take the clothes to the river to wash them. Wow.

We are watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel about food. They did a number of different experiments to see how food affects people differently and to dispel any myths about food. For instance, they followed two friends, one thin, one fat. They found that even though they had the same lifestyle and didn´t exercise. They ate the same foods. Even though they always would say that the thin one had a fast metabolism, but according to the study, they actually had the same metabolism but their difference in weight was because overweight person had more food. Go figure. Then they did a study to see if drinking water before a meal helped you eat less. Still another study was on what type of meal kept you full for longer: protein, carb, or fat? Our bodies are so amazing and mysterious.

The practice of practice and no practice of practice

Last night we all took advantage of today being a day off and as we mumbled at each other across the table at Tina's, the evidence on our tired faces was amusing.

I went to this crazy Indian take away restaurant after watching a disastrous amount of television. (Which, by the way, isn't half bad. There are plenty of American channels if you get cable.) They put rice in a little metallic baggie and sealed it. They did the same for a gooey potato dish. You have to see some of this stuff to appreciate exactly how much the mind freaks out when it sees something new like innovative food packaging.

Again, I'm here at Rishi's listening to music on the Internet with a determination to spread good music:

DEFIANCE, OHIO LYRICS
hear the song here
"Chad's Favorite Song"

do you remember passion? it's buried beneath a concrete world. have you forgotten compassion? are you in the middle of an ugly war between yourself and a giant machine? are you so tired you can't even dream anymore?

fuck this city, and fuck this filthy air. let's build a-frames in the woods and just live there. we'll all eat berries and build fires every night and forget this mistake we call modern life.

i believe in something, but i don't know what it is. it's either the future or the end. it's every reason that i do or don't get out of bed.

we live in the unhappy shadows of skyscrapers freight trains and malls to a soundtrack of nuclear warheads and bombs. addicted to power, addicted to authority, money, and success ... so far gone, without our addictions, do we even know how to live?

the sun is shining thru distance, bitter clouds that make me choke and cough and scream. sitting here along watching acid raindrops fall, this is not the life i want to lead.

Have you ever heard of Daniel Jonston? Good stuff. This is life changing.

Today I am half-determined to be semi-productive, although quite honestly I'm avoiding anything like it at all times. I woke up today when I felt like it and sat on my bed and played the harmonium for a little while. The sun was coming in through the window and I could feel the tan spread on my arm. There is nowhere I have to be, no one I have to see, nothing I really have to do. Just me sitting on my bed, playing my harmonium with the sun beating down on my arm. Life can be so different, and yet exactly the same.

We were sitting around a table talking and laughing and someone asked what I was doing today. I said something like "I'm trying not to think too much about it." We just kind of looked at each other and were like, "yeah."

Yoga Sutra

1.2 yogaścittavṛttinirodhaḥ

“Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind”

I couldn´t resist

I am that

"Questioner: It is a matter of daily experience that on waking up the world suddenly appears. Where does it come from?

Maharaj: Before anything can come into being there must be somebody to whom it comes. All appearance and disappearance presupposes a change against some changeless background.

Q: Before waking up I was unconscious.

M: In what sense? Having forgotten, or not having experienced? Don"t you experience even when unconscious? Can you exist without knowing? A lapse in memory: is it a proof of non-existence? And can you validly talk about your own non-existence as an actual experience? You cannot even say that your mind did not exist. Did you not wake up on being called? And on waking up, was it not the sense "I am" that came first? Some seed consciousness must be existing even during sleep, or swoon. On waking up the experience runs: "I am -- the body -- in the world." It may appear to arise in succession but in fact it is all simultaneous, a single idea of having a body in a world. Can there be the sense of "I am" without being somebody or other?"

I found a copy of the book I am that in the cabinet yesterday. After brushing my teeth outside as I watched the sun rise over the palm trees I sat in the sun and read the first few lines. (You can read the whole book online by clicking here.)

I am here in India falling into life without searching for it, it has come to find me. No matter how resistant we are, the energy of a place, and maybe time, start to wear on you until you begin to become a part of it. I think I really really like this place. I say it all the time, but it is like a yoga enthusiast theme park

Today I got ready for practice feeling so peaceful. There is something about the energy of the place, of living so high up in the sky, of living alone and feeling the vibrations of the morning as everything starts to come to life beneath you. I didn't bring my ipod or computer with me. With the residue from all the distractions of daily life in New York slowly fading away, I've noticed that i Am not constantly listening to music. I found myself humming songs on the way to practice, on the walk from breakfast, when I am on a mission. I've got 20+ years of experience listening to music, so you would think the collection in my brain would be vast, but you'd be sadly mistaken. When you paint, you dab a little of a lot of colors even when you don't think so. The grass doesn't just have green in it but yellows too and maybe some blue. But if you put to much paint and mix too much, the texture of the color will all turn into mud. And so it is, I've listened to music all my life, and the tune in my head will usually be the same jumbled mixture of songs and lyrics. Luckily the internet can give a quick refresher course on a particular song's lyrics. (Nothing is as frustrating as going days on end with the first few words of a song at the tip of your tongue.)

Speaking of which, I just found this awesome website that has a list of songs from the movie Donnie Darko. Now I know it is not the greatest movie in town, but there is something about it that just gets me every time. Plus it has a killer soundtrack. The thing is, you can only by the instrumental version. But this website lists all the songs:
http://darcko0.tripod.com/darkosongs.html

Lyrics to the first song that opens the movie:
(didn't you know you'd be learning strange and amazing things on this blog?)
"The Killing Moon"
Echo and the Bunnymen

Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

In starlit nights I saw you
So cruelly you kissed me
Your lips a magic world
Your sky all hung with jewels
The killing moon
Will come too soon

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him


So when I'm not thinking of maybe motivating myself to do something, hanging out with people, thinking about life in a big way, clinging to my stomach, or absorbing this strange and fascinating life--I can be found taking photos with Guruji on his birthday. Bad lighting, eh? I promise that is him and that is me and I'm really in India.

Practice has really been changing internally. Today was amazing. I was tired but sometimes when you are tired, you just give up and let the practice take you. It is a lot like when you are swimming in the ocean and you hit a strong current. You have to relax and trust the current to move you when its ready. No new poses today, but everyone keeps telling me, "next monday, you'll see". I don't think so, but whatever. I wasn't really practicing poses today, it was more just like air moving around in shapes.

Student rule regarding the reception of poses:
1a. exceptions to the rule
Emma got krounchasana on Tuesday. Today, Gibran got Kapotasana. Check out Iyengar on the left doing kapotasana. People have said that Sharath wasn't in a good mood on Monday, so he gave poses on Tuesday instead. How do people come up with this stuff?

We watched the City of God yesterday. See it.

Week 3 and 1/2: Getting Settled

I got an apartment! I really like the place. It is maybe a 5 minute walk from the Shala, as well as a lot of different groups of friends. It is in a big, well run building with a reputable landlord. It is all the way on the roof! The apartment is actually a (literal) one room studio with small kitchen area and bathroom (western). Apparently there is hot water on demand, and did I mention that it is on the roof with a killer view? A huge roof, mind you. I've got the place until September 14th, and after that who knows? I'm glad I found a place. I'm sure Alex is as well. I think I'll go buy her some chocolate.

Lunch at Rishi's again today. I love eating here. Rajini (the owner) cooks meals out of her house. So you just walk in and tell her you're hungry and she gives you what she thinks you should eat. It feels a lot like visiting a grandma. They always know best. But she also keeps track of my eating habits. Like, "you barely finished your food yesterday, I won't give too much spicy today. Better the cold salad and lots of chapatis." She also has a small Internet area with 4 computers. Its a bit less expensive here than Anu's.

Anu
Lunch/dinner buffet 100rs
Internet 20 rs/hour
phone 5 rs/minute

Rishi
Lunch/dinner (family style) 70 rs
Internet 15 rs/hour
phone 4 rs/minute

It doesn't seem like a lot, but it can be easy to spend a lot of money around here buying lots of little things all day long.

Practice was good today. Not as powerful as yesterday, but deeper. I go into the breathing in a really heavy way. After, I went to breakfast at Shakti to wish Stina fair well. She's had enough of Mysore for now. She's fairly new to yoga and came just for the experience. On one hand it can drive you crazy listening and seeing 100% yoga all the time, the lack of structure to the days, the endless discussions on what time is the best to eat in order to take a good shit before practice. On the other hand, it is absolutely inspiring to see the dedication and the practice.

Once I was talking to my cousin about how I did a lot of yoga, to which he replied, "I did a couple of poses once, but is so self-centered." I was so busy thinking about myself that I didn't even notice that before. He's so right though. For most people it seems that you cultivate an inner garden and then after it blooms, you take the flowers out. How nice to simply pack flowers in. I think that we get flowers all the time, but to really understand how special they are, we have to grow them ourselves.

Stina is always very concerned about me being in India. She says, "are you sure you're going to stay? You are going to have a very hard time." As much as it may seem that India and I don't mix, I feel like this place is only for me. It can be like a Disney World for yoga students. You can sit on the floor everywhere you go. Sometimes you can even recline. Everyone takes their shoes off at the door. You get to eat with your hands. Everything is super cheap. You can take classes in anything you want. Ayurveda. Chanting. Yoga books. Indian music. You can talk to anyone for hours and hours about yoga. You can meet people that don't say a thing about yoga but will change your life. Scooters are fun. Animals are everywhere. I get to live in my own private oasis.

Student rule regarding the reception of poses #248
Sharath only gives poses on Mondays and Wednesdays.

*shrug*

Always on the prowl for downloads:
Sun salutes and standing:
http://www.tevenei.com/yoga/img/astanga_A_1.jpg

Primary series and finishing:
http://www.tevenei.com/yoga/img/astanga_B_1.jpg

And of course, the post would not be complete without an image of a pose. This is from Advanced Series. Check out more stuff from www.absolutelyashtanga.com

Like learning how to fly

In the words of Paul from New York, "India is beautiful, horrible, inspiring, confounding, and amazing."

Last night, Alex, Nuno, David, La la (sp?), and I crammed in a rickshaw and went to the Mysore Palace (pictured) again. I didn't really feel like going. It wasn't the palace, I'm just usually not really into things like that (the Rockefeller Tree during Christmas in New York, Christmas lights on houses [unless it is really really good and I'm slightly intoxicated], top of the Empire State Building, etc.). I went anyway. I just had a lot of things on my mind. This time, it was a lot less of looking at a bunch of light balls sucking electricity on a bu idling, and a lot more like something bright to stare at and zone out into a trance like state. There has been a bit of that over the last weekend.

I haven't got a place to stay yet. I won't bore anyone with any of the details at the moment, but actually, I'm not as stressed out about it as I was before. Alex doesn't seem to hate me yet, we've worked out a good system for key exchange, I've come to peace with the feelings of uncertainty, and have embraced the thought that when a home is ready it will come. That said, this guy Brian gave me a couple of tips of houses he knew about, so when the rain stops, I'll go look. Finding an apartment feels a lot like speed dating.

I had the worst sleep last night. We forgot to turn on the mosquito repeller, and the entire night we had mosquitoes buzzing about. I was up at least every hour slapping my face and trying to pull the covers over me (sheets in India are never the right size). When it was time to officially wake up, it was okay that I hadn't slept. I was happy to go to practice. I felt refreshed, and a little wired on the idea of it.

My practice time is still 7am. I really think that is a good time, but everything we are doing is so intense and extreme that sometimes I feel like I want a super early time just for the challenge. A lot of people have left this week already. There were way less students than usual, but still there were many. In front of me was Gibran, to my right was little Nuno, behind me was big Nuno, and scattered around were other friends and acquaintances. It was really nice to be surrounded by all that energy. You see someone during the day. You see them interact, and walk, laugh, joke, and eat, and then you see them practice and its like they are possessed or in a trance or in a hypnotic state. It is amazing. So there I was practicing in the midst of all that. Really a good day of practice. Afterwards I felt so amped. When I did the teacher training with Mary Flinn, someone asked why she started practicing yoga. She said it was because it was the closest thing to learning how to fly.

Breakfast at Tina's again. I've decided the toast with spinach and tomato chutney with the banana,soy, peanut smoothie is the right combination. I'm going to try to eat more like a boy in a vegan way to see if it help me get stronger in practice. It is so funny the things people get obsessed with here!

Last night in the rickshaw back from the Palace, I rode with Fred the Swiss guy from Geneva. We were taking pictures of each other in the disco lighting that the driver had installed in his "pimped out" rickshaw. Very modern art. Anyway, he said that he was only staying for a month and that he thought that people start to go a little crazy here when they stay too long. Its not the first time I've heard that...

I'm going with Elena to Sanskrit and chanting with Jayashree again today. Elena is from Milano, Italy. She is here with her teenage son for an entire year! He is attending an international school, she is practicing yoga. She says that she wants him to have a greater experience of the world.

So how it works with Jayashree's classes is you can really drop in whenever you want. You pay either by the week or by the month. All payments are by donation. The chanting starts at 4:30 and ends around 6pm. This is Monday through Thursday. Before that form 3:30-4:30, she might hold special classes on demand. For instance, last month she broke up the sutras so that we could identify the different words in order to teach to our students back home. This month, the focus is learning basic Sanskrit. I'm not sure what we'll be doing. Maybe writing in Devanagari. maybe learning sounds. She has a very open and fluid way of teaching, it just like of happens organically.

In India, everyone has a puppy.

Growing pains

Led class again started with Guruji and ended with Sharath. There has been many cameras and media people here the last few days. I was in the front row and felt like the cameras were on me quite a bit. During Utthita hasta (pictured), I allowed myself to get distracted and dropped my leg twice. However, the rest of the practice was one of my best ones since I've been here. After the crazy yoga "jam" on Friday night, I was pretty hyped on bandhas, jump throughs, and transitions. This translated to an intense practice. Sometimes it is good to be reminded of these things. Its like taking a really good long look in the mirror and noticing something new on your face. Swet was poring off my body and dripping down my face. At one point I inhaled some swet. Awesome. For me, yoga is sometimes like an extreme sport. How much higher can you lift up? How long can you fly? It can be so exhilerating.

Being here is a lot like growing up all over again. Its very strange. The practice releases many things and on some days the energy around this place is suffocating. Sometimes it feels like a huge science project and mysore is a petri dish. Some days it feels like this place might explode. Or maybe just me.

practice practice all is coming

The worst horse and other horse stories

One other characteristic of the worst horse is that sometimes the worst horse thinks its the best horse.

If there is one thing you learn in India it is patience. There is a saying that goes: "In India, everything is possible, but don't expect anything".

The people here do this thing that is fondly refered to as the "head wobble". This is kind of like shaking your head "maybe", but mostly like one of those little chihuahua figurines you put in your car with a stationary body and the head that wobbles. It means yes, maybe, it could be possible, I'll try if I get to it, I like you and hope everything works out for you, I have no idea what you are saying but you seem friendly, I think you want me to say yes, the answer is no or probably not, but I wish I could help you but so you won't get upset I won't say no.

I spent the day eating, chilling, laughing. At yogi getogethers, people drink, smoke, challenge eachother to do crazy yoga postures.

I haven't felt so relaxed in a long time.

Sometimes a horse is just a horse and horses are everywhere in this place. Sometimes you're riding on the back of a scooter with 2 other people and moderate speeds and you see 3 horses in the road and you're not sure which one you're going to run into. Sometimes you run into a horse when you didn't expect it and everyone walks away (including the horse) feeling a little more awake.

Saraswati's didn't work out. I'm crashing at Alex's until something comes up.

Tomorrow, led practice at 6:15am.

The worst horse

Pema Chodron writes in The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness that there are three horses. The best horse moves before the whip ever hits its rump. The okay horse moves when it feels the whip. The worst horse won't budge until the whip has made cuts. Most people want to be the best horse. She writes,

"what I have realized through practicing is that practice isn't about being the best horse or the worst horse. It's about finding our own true nature and speaking from that, acting from that. Whatever our quality is, its our wealth and our beauty; that's what other people respond to."

I am the worst horse. Today at practice was again struggling to stay focused, struggling to hear my own breathing. After setu bandhasana (pictured), I moved into urdhva danurasana position. The second I came up-bam! Low back ouch. I've been dealing with this for some time, and back in New York, poses that stretch the psoas and quads in second series have been really helpful. I tried my best to lengthen and yadda yadda, and then moved into a really sloppy stand up. I tried to warm up a bit by doing half ways before the full drop back, but after 2 really out of wack drop back, I gave up. Feeling embarrassed for almost running into someone, I sat down and took a couple of breaths in forward bending before hustling off to do finishing poses with a pout in the dressing room.

I threw down my mat and laid down, swimming in the angry little thoughts soaking in my mind. "Stupid ashtanga with no stupid moving on for a month"

"This is so dumb, I should go somewhere else where they'll let me do my practice"

"I should just finish my practice in here"

"stupid back with the stupid pains"

"All these people coming from all over and now I can't get new poses because its crowded"

etc etc

I thought of Alex, who has been here for 6 weeks and has only just started doing the poses that she got from her last trip. I thought about how I'm the only one who doesn't look completely blissed out right now.

I took 10 breaths in each pose (usually I take 25). I huffed and puffed and threw myself into resting and closed my eyes tightly. I laid therefore for a short while, trying to tell myself to relax, and then shot up, rolled up my mat, and got dressed. Outside my coconut tasted as sour as my mood. Coconuts have been like mood rings for me, I've noticed.

At breakfast, I was talking to Nuno about practice today and how really this is what its about. Doing without knowing, giving up on the ego, practice practice all is coming. It is so much more about the mental in this practice than the physical. And yet, none of this is new. Its funny how things come up to the surface. Even at age 40+, you might find yourself with a pimple.

The sugar boycott is going well. This morning I went to Tina's and had millet toast (its homemade and wheat free!) with cooked spinach and tomato chutney. I also had a banana, soy, cinnamon, and peanut butter smoothie. Very nice!

The plan for today is to get a house! I think I'm going to try for Saraswati's. I've got to pick up some rupees though and some bedsheets.

Yesterday I had a little adventure in waxing and threading...

Part of me thinks that back bend troubles and mental troubles have to do with my bowels being on strike. Part of me thinks that the bowels being on strike has to do with not being grounded at all, no stable living space, and missing SO (1,2,3 chakra issues)...

Sugar high

Jaggery. Honey. Sweets. Chocolate. Chai. Sugar. Sweet drinks. Jams. Lassi. Sweet milks. Sesame brittles. Candies. Cakes.

I met a girl on Chamundi Hill who was in Mysore studying the prevalence of type 2 diabetes in India. I'm wondering how long it would take me to get to that point and also how long it will take for yesterday's sugar fog to wear off. This morning I told myself I would think savory for breakfast. I had a fenugreek roti with spinach and tomato chutney at Tina's with a fruit salad and ginger mint tea. They also brought me honey for my tea, and like the strong yoga student that I am I said "no, thanks!" (I was probably rocking back and forth in the corner when I said it.) Miraculously, I lived. Take that sugar! I've managed to overcome the physical pressure for sugar, and also that of habit. Then next challenge: sugar peer pressure. Will I be able to withstand? Check back tomorrow...

Practice Update:
Here I am at week 3. I haven't gained any poses since I've been here, but I haven't lost any from primary either. I've heard that in the first month, they (they being Sharath and guruji) like to watch you. The second month, they like to break you. The third month, they put you back together again. Alex's version of this is: the first month, you feel fat and fart a lot, the second month you look skinny and strong. Okay. It was hard to stay focused today in practice. I was right next to the men's dressing room and so there was a constant flow of people walking around my mat. I tried not to notice people getting new poses around me and the rise of jealousy as their heels came to the ground in pasasana. For me it seems like the first month will be trying to get comfortable practicing in the space. The second will be maintaining that feeling. The third will be gone in a second.

I had back bends again with Sharath. He really finds my turned out feet in ankle grabbing very funny. I wish I knew why.

The joys of eating Finger food and negotioating your bowels

I didn't know what to expect for Guruji's birthday celebration. As I walked by the Shala on the way to Tina's for breakfast, I noticed camera crews and equipment being set up outside windows and doorways. I tired to make breakfast simple. Toast and fruit. Part of me panics during breakfast. The menus at Shakti and Tina's are just so good that really, I wish I could eat them for every meal. It is the closest I have found to what I would make back in my kitchen at home. And so, every morning, I panic. My eyes grow to the size of watermelons as I order item after item after item. Part of this is probably social as well. People filter in and out and ask you to stay for a chai, so you do. I woke up this morning after 3 days of diarrhea and said to Elissa, "I don't know how good 2 Indian meals a day are for my body..." Stina shrugged at me this morning over the easiest to digest breakfast items she could find and said, "I'm starting to get used to it. Its not as exhausting as it was."

I've seen some people take Tupperware with them to Tina's. I think I've got to do the same. Even when I do have a kitchen that I don't mind using, it is such a bother to have to disinfect and purify everything just to cut a piece of fruit in half. I've got to find some Tupperware.

Many people have worked it out so that they have 2 or 2.5 meals a day. Breakfast is a fruit salad and toast or muesli or dosa with egg. Then they have a heavy meal for either lunch or dinner. I find that most people do the heavy lunch at Rishi's or Anu's. People pack it in! You see string bean people walking in to Anu's having second and third heaping helpings! Dinner is skipped or just some fruit or curd. The big focus is taking a doo practice the next morning. So if you don't eat late the night before, you'll have time to digest and be ready to go in the morning. Lots of people wake up 1, 2, and 3 hours before practice to mosey about and wait for that great urge. I've heard students say that they have coffee in the morning to help the urge. "A" swears by this Ayurvedic stuff called triphala. Apparently this obsession becomes very intense when the led second classes are happening. How this works is (if you're with Sharath): Fridays are led primary classes. One at 5am, the other at 6:15am. Sundays are a led primary class at 5am and a led second at 6:15. You have to be invited to the led second class. Right now there are so many students that the led second has been replaced by another led first. But apparently, when the led second is going on, people obsess the entire week about trying to be fit and ready for that hour and fifteen minutes. People go to bed even earlier than they already do (you start hearing "I'm tired" around 5:30pm).

Not everyone is so intense. I recently found myself surrounded by yoga students drinking and smoking and staying up past 10pm *gasp*! It feels a lot like college dorms freshman year sometimes. You've got a lot of people with a lot of time on their hands, able to spend money freely because of exchange rates, out to meet new people and have a good time. It also can have a lot of the drama you might recall from the dorm rooms. Drama that you can't believe you are hearing from people who are old enough to be your parents' older siblings.

The entire time I've been here so far, all I've been hearing is "have you bought a Sari?" and "what are you wearing to the party?" Honestly, I didn't give it much thought. I bought Guruji some sugar free chocolate from the homemade chocolate stand that is located dangerously close to my house. The stuff often costs more than an entire meal at a restaurant at 50-80 rupees. I also bought a nice pen and used it to write out the "3 wishes for gifts for your birthday", as recommended by my little Sanskrit Scholar, Mardi, back in New York. I did my best, but I have no idea if I got the script right. I hope so. I wrapped the piece of paper around the chocolate and bought a string of flowers from one of the boys who follows yoga students around trying to sell them flowers. I tied my hair up in a bun and used some of the flowers to decorate my hair.

The puja was supposed to start at 11:30am. When we got there, there were many people packed in to the main practice area in the Shala. They were burning a ceremonial fire, and there was definitely not enough ventilation. I'm glad we got floor space next to the windows to park at! There were many Indian people. I'm not sure who they were, but I'm sure many of them were family members of Pattabhi Jois. There were also many yoga students, but not as many as I had expected. Loads of the ladies were wearing saris and many of the men were wearing lunghis (which are pretty little toga-like skirts). Cameras, both fim and photography, were clicking all around. Lori was crawling on the floor with a camera for the documentary she is making.

They moved Guruji up on the stage and we all sat watching the influx of people even though Sharath had said "11:30 don't be late!" There were many famous people in the ashtanga community. Some I knew, some I didn't. Even though there were some men walking around and chanting, I kept looking around, wondering when things would get started. It seemed that most of the ceremonies had been performed before we were told to arrive and most of the show was watching people try to find seats. There were a couple of performances from students. A couple of songs and one dance. Then Sharath said there was food downstairs and that when we see Guruji we shouldn't touch him. Everyone got up and many people headed downstairs while others stood in line to give Guruji the presents that he would never use. Stina says that she saw an entire cabinet in Saraswati's house full of student's gifts from the past. Its the thought that counts.

I stood in the massive crowd that could be called a line and waited for my turn to give Guruji gifts and to say "happy birthday". I couldn't shake the feeling that I was at the mall to take a photo with the Easter Bunny. Guruji sat there on the stage in his fancy chair, wearing all his gold bling while students came up one at a time to put a gift in front of him and then turn to a camera and smile. It was surreal. When my turn came, I placed the flowers on the table in front of him and knelt down to sweep knowledge from his feet to my third eye (in this tradition, it is thought that your teacher's knowledge hangs out in their feet). Then I stood up and handed him the chocolate and said "Happy Birthday! This is chocolate!" He smiled, and then I added, "Its sugarfree!" The smile faded a bit and he siad "Thank you!" And of course, I turned around and smiled for the camera.

Downstairs, people were gathered around the garage. Inside were rows of tables covered with paper. Each person had a banana leaf covered with soggy mush that they were eating greedily with their hands. A traditional Thali meal. At a certain point, servers came through and rolled up the paper from one end of the table to the other (there had to be at least 20 people per table). It was a quick clean up. We rushed in to get seats (apparently there were more than 3 rounds of people eating). We sat down and someone came by to roll new paper down, much like when you visit the doctor. We each got a banana leaf and cup of water. For drinking? No one knew. Some people had stuck their hands in the water and were dousing their leaf. I followed suit. Why not? I didn't know what I was doing anyway. Guys in lunghis with their hairy bellies hanging out came by with buckets containing different food items that they plopped on to the leaves. First, was the water guy. Next came the sweet rice guy, followed by salt, then pickle, then 3 garnishes, and 2 rices. By this point, you were eating, trying to figure out how to use your fingers as a spoon. If you didn't already feel challenged, another guy came by to douse the rice with 2 very soupy items. Soon after came the enormous birthday cake, a new cup, then a pile of mixed nut/trail mix type stuff. I though "ok, this is dessert." But then came a little chocolate fudge, and flaky stuff that looked like wheatabix for the new cup. Then a guy came by with this milky stuff that he dumped on the pseudo-wheatabix. This, fortunately, had a spoon. The food was tasty, but I had to avoid thinking too much about how yucky the whole eating with your hands bit was. There really wasn't anything on that plate that could have constituted as finger food back home.

We were quickly shuffled out and I used that water cup to wash my right hand. As I left, I wondered who I knew back home that would actually eat like this if I took them to a Thali restaurant. Would you?

As soon as I stood up, I realized how much I had actually shoveled in, and Alex and I agreed the best way to recover would be to recline on her couch and watch cable. We undid our belts and found a movie on HBO, Stealing Beauty. Anyone see it? It seemed like it would probably be sexy, and therefore, semi entertaining. Not really, actually. It was probably edited for television, but for us, we just needed to digest lunch, so it was okay.

Today it is raining. For monsoon season, I've been surprised at how little is has actually rained. Today has been the exception. It has rained non-stop since I sat down at this computer to write. I'm supposed to move out of the room that I don't like and into Shelli's apartment that I hope I like. Mostly I don't like dealing with shady landlords and realtors. No matter where you are in the world, they always try to play you. Wish me luck!

Guruji's birthday and the end of Harry Potter

Finished the last Harry Potter book today and went to the birthday party of the living master of Ashtanga Yoga. Just wanted to build some suspense!

And for those of you in need of a good laugh:

Saraswati could be sitting on your tongue

Tina says that in Indian cooking, there is no tasting of the food to see if it is right like we do in western cooking. One reason for this is to avoid contaminating the food with your germs. The other reason is that you are supposed to be so completely present when you cook that everything will be just right. I hope you try to make the eggplant recipe from a couple of days ago. It is a bit strange not having exact measurements to work with, but you'll just have to let go and jump in. As Tina says with a laugh, "this is not a laboratory...it is a kitchen!"

At the cooking class on Thursday, Tina told us a story about Saraswati. (I should mention that I am not talking about Saraswati the 60 something year old yoga teacher at the Shala who assists Guruji. Here, many people are named after Gods and Goddesses. It would be as if there were a lot more people named "Jesus".) Saraswati lives in your throat by where your collarbones stick out. One time during the day, she will climb up your throat and sit on your tongue. You can never tell when she'll decide to sit there. But beware, when Saraswati sits on your tongue, whatever you say will come true. It is for this reason that you must be mindful of what you say throughout the day.

Today I'm off to read more Harry Potter. Later, we are going to the Mysore Palace to see the lights. Apparently it is very beautiful and they only do it on Sunday evenings.

If you've never picked up a copy of the Yoga Sutras, you ought to. I'm going to go get a new copy this week. There are many translations of this ancient text. My favorite is the one by Swami Satchitananda. However, many people have been recommending Light on Yoga Sutras by Iyengar. So, Since I already have the Satchi copy at home, I think I'll pick up the Iyengar copy while I'm here for a new perspective.

Today and tomorrow are moondays, depending on whose calendar you are following. We (a few of us students) decided it was on Monday, and so organized a little practice group this morning. It was really nice to get adjustments from each other, and I did my practice which felt so so so good! Primary can really be a bummer for me. All the forward bending and monotonous back and forth stuff makes me feel a bit drained. So it felt really good to do all those extra back bends and heart openers... Tuesday we will practice again.

PS-If you haven't read Elissa's blog yet, you should. She is way more candid that I and she has a completely different perspective. Also, its funny to read the stuff she writes about me! Check the sidebar under "mysore blogs" and click the link!

On letting go

It is a bit overcast today and I'm thinking mostly of not thinking and trying to just let go of expectations and wanting to control things. It is a practice. I feel like I'm settling a bit. I'm figuring out my place here in Mysore and finding out how to just be here in a very awake way. It sounds strange to write this, but as much as I have been here, I haven't; and as much as I have been letting go, I've been resistant. I guess we are always going back and forth between these states, but sometimes we are able to step back from it and see it happening. Like right now. So then what do you do when you're not spending your energies on the back and forth? You chant, or read, or walk, or do what ever you do knowing that you're doing it completely awake. None of it is black or white, but it is as simple as turning a switch on or off if we are able to find the switch as we grope in the dark.

It is good to be alone. I can't find these things with other people around. I get distracted. I find however, that it is hard to be alone here. But that's okay. I think I'll lock myself in my room and spend the day with Harry Potter again. It is important to learn how to date yourself.

I'm supposed to go see Shiva in 2 days to see if he has any apartments available. We'll see what happens. If he doesn't have anything I'll try to move in to Saraswati's house. Apparently it is all very crowded right now and nothing is open. In any case, I really would like to get a decent kitchen. For me it feels important to be able to make myself food. Not just because I want to control it, but also because it is cheaper than eating out all the time!

Movies for those who want to see Ashtanga Yoga in action:
Ashtanga, NY
Guru

Yoga clothing and the 3 gunas

It has been 2 days since my last post, so I'll have to recap. Wednesday I practiced, read, ate, and went to chanting with Jayashree. Thursday I practiced, read, ate, and went to a cooking class with Tina. Life here is good!

Before chanting on Wednesday, I dropped Alex off at the hospital so she could get her nose pierced. (Everyone gets piercings done at the hospitals here. They also get a lot of dental work done as it is MUCH less expensive than in the states.) I couldn't stay with her as I had to meet Elena at the coconut stand (its always where people meet up, or the main landmark when it comes to giving directions), but apparently it was quite a show. We had spent the entire morning and part of the afternoon at the "Hotel Formerly Known As The Southern Star" (really, that's what the sign said) lying poolside and soaking up sun. I tried to read Harry Potter, but was quite distracted by the conversations around me and also the glare from the sun. The water was very very cold, but we had a lot of fun. It costs 200 for a day pass and they give you a towel. Its a pretty posh place. You can also get a monthly pass as well as nice looking salads, sandwiches, and french fries. When you spend a lot of time in the heat, your blood vessels dilate, and when you are cold, they constrict. The point? The nurse who did Alex's piercing was convinced she was an alcoholic because she bled so much! The piercing looks really nice though. Apparently you are supposed to get the left side pierced only. I tried asking several people about this, and I got something about it making you more fertile. Who knows?

I found out that at chanting we are actually practicing for a performance on Guruji's birthday. Someone mentioned that they weren't sure they wanted to do it because they heard that if we chanted incorrectly, he would someone was watching and would clap for me when I do something good. Instead, there is absolutely no recognition. In turn, my jump backs (I think) have gotten much better and everything feels a little deeper, a little stronger, and a little lighter. On Wednesday after At chanting, I found out that we are actually practicing for a performance we will give on Guruji'sdefinitely call us on it. (Guruji used to be a sanskrit scholar.) Jayashree explained that "Gurus are here to criticize us ... Even if he says 'you [Jayashree] have not done it properly' I will say 'thank you'". She continued, "if I say you are very good, you will not grow". This got me thinking about practice (although you could apply it to a lot of things) and how I've back tracked quite a bit in what I'm doing. Sometimes I wish someone was clapping for me every time I do something good, but in spite of this, I feel like my jump backs have gotten a lot lighter and my practice as a whole has gotten stronger and deeper. On Wednesday during back bends with Sharath he said "good". Its nice to know he probably meant it.

My Mysore time has been moved to 7am. Yesterday, I got there early, and still there were TONS of people waiting. Alex says its like that every Thursday. People are tired from the week and so are practicing a little slower. Well, there were people with 6:30 time slots still waiting to get in at 7:15. Its also really crowded for the birthday. It seems that a lot of people have come in for just a week and that still others are leaving right after the birthday. But maybe Alex is right about Thursdays. I felt really tired and heavy at first. I'm partially convinced that its just the pants I'm wearing. I'm sure I could argue that clothes can be tamasic because every time I saw my pant legs hanging about, I felt like I was just hanging about. These did, however, used to be called my favorite practice pants. But since I got the American Apparel leggings, I feel there is no comparison. The leggings are close fitting so you can see your bones, but also there is no extra fabric flapping about. I'm sure the fact that I'm hand washing the other doesn't help. i might see if Krishna tailor can shorten them a bit.

Back bends with Saraswati were a riot. I did 3 half way down and on the fourth went straight down to grab my ankles like I do with Sharath. But she was like "no no hands down walk in!" So I put my hands down to the floor and tried to walk in. I took my right hand to my right calf and was dangling there. She let go of my back with her arms so that she could help me grab my left calf with my left hand but without the support, I toppled over like a wheel onto my forearms and then she brought me back up to stand and "tried" to explain to me what she meant. I went back again, this time taking my hands to the floor. I walked my hands close to my heels then took my right hand to right calf. My other arm just hung there, she held me this time and reached for my left hand, instead, she grabbed my hair and gave it a tug (I think her had got a bit tangled). I yelped as she finally got my left hand and took it to my left calf. It was funny. Here is a video of Sharath doing drop backs. Enjoy!

At 1pm I had my cooking lesson at Tina's. It was like an interactive cooking show. She made Spinach dahl, stuffed eggplant, and chapathis. Here is how you make the eggplants. It is super super easy and SO SO good!

Super Tasty Stuffed Eggplants Tina Style
Get some fresh ginger and fresh garlic. It has to be organic. Put it in the blender and blend. You now have ginger garlic paste. This will keep in the fridge for 3 months! You might also be able to get this at the supermarket.

Now get yourself some eggplants. They have to be skinny and long. Preferably they are small (like only a couple of bites long), or you will chop them later. And obviously, they should also be organic.

Take a knife and slice open the eggplant lengthwise, but keep the stem on. Do this to all your eggplants.

Now take your fingers and glob some of that ginger garlic paste inside it and smoosh the 2 sides together. Its okay if the paste squishes out.

Heat some sunflower or safflower oil in a pan. NOT OLIVE OIL. This is Indian cooking!

Throw your eggplants in the pan. You want this to be medium to low heat. Cover them and everyone and a while toss the pan a bit so they get cooked all over. It is important that the heat is low and that it is covered as this will ensure that they get cooked all the way though, not just charred on the outside.

When you are able to squish into the eggplant easily with a spoon, they are ready. You can either serve them hot, or room temp. They are like super delicious and tasty roasted peppers Italian style. This is fast and you will love them!

This morning I was dreading the led class at 6:15. Headstand. When Elissa and I got there, I was tired and moody and a bit miffed that we had to wait outside because there were so many people. We could hear Sharath counting inside and it sounded like a hard class because he went more than 15 minutes over and they had what seemed like a 30 second Savasana. When those students started filling out, we started moving in. I claimed a pot front and center and hoped for the best. We seemed to be waiting a little longer than usual, and when I saw Saraswati escorting Guruji to the stage, we all could see why.

It was a nice surprise that Guruji taught the class not only because its Guruji, but also because he taught super fast and it made the struggle almost non-existent in headstand. I was actually quite funny. He was counting very quickly until he got to 7 and then he just stopped counting. I could hear him walking across the stage and I figured he had gone to help someone. I could see people starting to come down, but Sharath would say come back up. This went on for some time and then I came down and went back up and heard "eight!" Everyone laughed a bit. Elissa was practicing on the stage and she said that he actually had gone to the men's room! After uthpluthih, Sharath said "too easy!"

Many people are preparing to leave soon. Its strange to think that I will be here for some time still!

Inner tourism

Shelli, Shoba, and I were walking past the main coconut stand after breakfast at Shakti House when Shelli noticed the massive pile of opened coconuts and used straws in a pile next to us. This pile was HUGE and it was definitely from about a day. People have a lot of coconuts here. She said something about how you would think they would separate the straws because they use the coconut shells for burning. Shoba, always the sage, said, "don't waste your energies thinking of this because it will never change." I found it to be such an intense statement for such a small thing to be commenting on, but she's right. Its all those little things that get us worked up and unhappy.

It took me a while to get settled in New York. I feel like I have been trying to find myself here. Today I got a bit closer. Its like I'm here, but the other part of me is still jet lagged. But this morning, in practice, I could hear myself breathing, and I could feel a bit closer. Today at chanting at Dr. M.A. Jayashree's, I felt like BAM! Centered. I think usually practice does this. Yoga practice, I mean. You feel kind of scattered, and then you go to an asana class and then BAM there you are, and you leave feeling as one. But I've been practicing for a week, and I think it has been hard because I haven't been getting that. I know people say they are less distracted here than at home, but I had been feeling very distracted. Or maybe just different. Its such a different environment and it must have taken me a bit longer to get used to it. But today in practice I felt a bit closer and like I said, today and chanting, the hovering me slammed into the physical me, and BAM I was centered. Nice. I stopped being bothered by the little things.

Usually for me, yoga practice does that, which is why it is nice to practice in the morning. I get centered right away, and I'm able to put the whole day into perspective. Looking back over the last week, its funny to read these blogs.

I made lunch today for some of the students. At least I tried. I know it wasn't that impressive, but everyone was very nice and pretended they liked it. I made chili, but the pressure cooker didn't really cook the beans, so some of the beans were cooked, some not. I also made guacamole, but the avocados were a bit different than the ones in the states. They taste like the large green ones. Very buttery. In fact here, they call them "butter fruit". I tried to find nachos but had to settle on "spanish style" lays potato chips. The rice came out fine.

Can you believe I got a copy of the new Harry Potter book? A fellow student, I-Ling, pre-ordered it at Ashok Book Shop and read it in a day. She let me borrow it and I just started. I fell asleep reading it last night and forgot to turn on my alarm. I awoke this morning to a crash. I saw the clock and it was 10 till! I figured that crashing sound must have been Elissa leaving for practice without me and that she must have thought that I was still sleeping. But when I looked outside, the gate was still closed, so I got dressed very quickly and knocked on her door. Return of the Dehli Belly. Poor Elissa got hit bad. Good thing she has a western shower because I don't think her bathing bucket will be of much use anymore.

Today after Dr. M.A. Jayashree's for chanting, we walked toward Devaraj (sp?) road so Shelli and Alex could pick up some stuff. (Shelli had a duvee [sp?] cover and shams made from Saris and Alex is getting her nore pierced tomorrow, so she needed a ring.) On the way, we walked by BNS Iyengar's studio who teaches at the Patanjala Yoga Shala. Which, I think, is where Krishnamacharya used to teach. We snuck into the temple and spied on an Indian asana class. It was very cool.

More back bending today with Sharath. He laughed at my feet again. Note to all: feet out in back bends is a VERY hard habit to break!

As Guruji's birthday draws near, many students are flooding Mysore. Lino Miele was hanging out at the coconut stand. Shelli was hanging with David Swenson. Rolf was at the Green Market. Etc., etc. The led classes on Friday will probably be very crowded, but fun to watch. I hope they do a led second. that would be nice to watch. We have no classes Saturday-Tuesday. Saturday is a day off (unless you are with Saraswati). Another day is a moonday, the other celebration, and the last just because.

PS-Any requests for bed coverings? I give you good price!

On practice and how not to make friends in India

I was happily surprised to be feeling a lot better this morning. I decided it was OK to go to practice. Its funny. I'm finding myself kind of stressed out at practice, not like at home. First off, I don't get to pick what time I go. Then when you get there, you wait in the vestibule to be called to practice. "NEXT! 7:15." You look around to see if anyone else is before you than you run to go to the spot they called you for otherwise you hear "Next! 7:15." Or Sharath comes by and says "you come!" or "Why you fearing?" One doesn't get much contact with Sharath, so when he does talk to you, you don't want it to be like that. Then you run and you put down your mat. Don't even think about going to the dressing room first. Its mat first, period. Then, you put the rest of your stuff down in the dressing room.

I don't feel like I'm doing my practice. Its hard letting go of all the hard work I did in New York. Its harder than I thought it would be--both physically and mentally. But I'm trying to let the teacher be the teacher. And anyway its not about the poses, right? But at the same time, you gear up your whole day for practice. That's why we're here.

I was talking to some other students from Colombia this morning at the coconut stand about this. About how I get kind of stressed out in the room. How I can't hear myself breathe, etc, etc. We got to talking about how, in terms of poses, there really are no rules for who gets what, when. For instance, many people told me that for the first month you shouldn't expect anything. No adjustments until back bending if you do a "good" primary. A whole month like this. I feel like probably its better to come here as a beginner. You'd get more attention and feel like you're progressing. Other people say "oh, well they don't give poses on Thursdays", or you have to do drop backs to do second. But I've heard of people starting second after a week. Or Not getting anything for months. The students try to make these little rules, try to make sense out of how things are run so that we can all justify where we are. Its hard to let go of your practice and have to build it up again. Its a lot about letting go of ego and attachments. But its also about trust. Trust that they will stop you if you're doing something incorrectly. Trust that they can see when you are ready to progress. Trust that they won't drop you on your head.

I've heard of a few people mentioning how they got injured in Mysore and how they wouldn't recommend going to the Shala because its just too crowded to get the attention that people need. But at the same time everyone keeps on coming back. we must be crazy.

In practice, it was drop backs with Saraswati after primary again, and then off to the dressing room for finishing. I really blew it up pretty bad in there. The student next to me actually moved to another part of the room. Sorry. It really couldn't be helped, but it was very VERY bad.

I signed up for a cooking class on Thursday at 1 at Tina's which will be fun. Tina's is a place that serves breakfast. I think she said we'd be doing dahl, roti, and stuffed eggplant. All of which, sound good to me. The price for this is, I think, 300 rupees. There is another cooking class the same day at 11 at Anu's. But they'll be doing dosas and I think I'll be happy to stay away from dosas for a little while.

I took a shower at Shelli's place and was able to wash my hair. I find that I need a proper shower to be able to wash my hair. I can't just be going to the salon all the time. (Although that's what I did last time. They washed and brushed my hair for 150 rupees. It wasn't the greatest shampoo or conditioner though). Afterwards, I washed my laundry, which was much more eventful than I would have liked.

Elissa and I live in a house ran by two women. The mother, who is old is called Amma, the daughter who is also quite old is called Yashoda. I fondly call them the "old spinsters". I asked Amma where I could wash my clothes and she started grabbing at them, which drove me crazy so I said "NO! Where is the washing stone so I can wash my clothes?" She pointed to it, but I noticed that the laundry buckets were already being used to soak other clothes. Oh well. I rolled up my pant legs to my knees and dumped my clothes under the tap. Amma came out a little while later to yell at me to turn off the tap and use the shower bucket from the bathroom. I kindly told her that there was no way I was going to be using that bucket for anything related to cleaning unless it is my body. A bit stubborn, I know. She gave up and went inside. She drives me crazy.

In India there used to be a caste system. On the top were the Brahmins. Next came the warriors, followed by the merchants. Last were the minions, or "untouchables". Supposedly this is no longer in place, but it hasn't changed for everyone. For instance, someone told me that it is considered very rude to ask someone what their father does as this would allow you to place them in a caste. The other day, a little entrepreneur around 10 years old asked me if I was in need of a servant. Ningima, the maid at our house, eats her meals on the floor by Amma's feet like a dog. Amma sits at the table. They don't allow her into any of the bedrooms unless they are watching her. To me, its like, if you're going to be there watching, why don't you just do it yourself? But the old spinsters are afraid she'll steal things. In fact, they're afraid everyone will steal things. There is a drop gate on the front door, even.

I must have almost given Amma a heart attack today as she watched me wash my clothes, with my pants rolled up to the knees, next to two workers fixing the cement in the garden. Her whole system of logic in the world must have been thrown completely off. I feel bad. I think she is confused, and doesn't speak much English, and I'm stubborn.

Have you ever hand washed jeans? It is one of least enjoyable experiences there are. I keep looking outside to see if it will rain. Clouds have been hovering all day, but I really couldn't afford to go another day without washing. Clothes don't really dry here. It is hot, but not that hot, and supposedly its humid, but I don't really feel it. The point is, that I don't want all my hard work to go out the window if it rains! My clothes will never dry and they'll smell horrible, which they probably will anyway. You have to really have patience, and be able to let go.

This afternoon I hope to start Sanskrit classes that are offered at the shala. Someone says they go at 5. I'm just going to show up and hope for the best. I know it sounds nerdy, but I'm kind of looking forward to homework.

After that, I have big dreams of renting a TV/DVD unit for 100 rupees for the night. I really could watch a movie!

Its hard. You find a balance at home in your life between practice, and play, between personal time, and public time. An now I have to renegotiate it all. *Sigh* It sounds like I'm doing a lot of complaining, but sometimes you just need to get things out. There's good stuff too, seriously!

Dehli belly

I spent the whole night in a fetal position groaning and moaning swallowing down nausea and hoping for diarrhea. My body ached, the boat was rocking, I was a mess. I knocked on Elissa's door to tell her I wouldn't be practicing today. There was no way. No way.

After a few more hours of sleep, I called Alex and shuffled over to her house, which isn't far. I was sweating and nauseous, but figured that if I had to puke, outside was the best place. Plus, Alex has a squat toilet, which frankly, sounded like the cure. And a television, which cures anything.

She fed me grapefruit seed extract, which if you haven't taken is awful. But apparently, you can use it as an antibacterial. It purifies water, cleans wounds, helps diarrhea, etc, etc. Try a couple of drops and you'll see. I had one bite of millet toast, but couldn't imagine eating much else. You know how when you get really sick to your stomach, you keep thinking back to the thing that you ate, and the thought of that thing is almost enough for you to lose your guts? Well I couldn't stop thinking of roadside family restaurants serving greasy dosas and chutneys. Semolina mush, cheese tortilla thinks, dosas, oh dosas. And a single flash of the one speck of sugar I ate on Chamundi Hill from the cave Swami. These images would flash and my stomach would turn and writing about this right now is making me hold my stomach and cover my mouth. But I'll do it for you, dear reader. I've even dug some flicks off the Internet. You've got the chapati, roti, dosa, and paper dosa. All super greasy. Our "house mom" said that you should eat them only once a week, not three times a day. But everyone else downs them with such vigor and enthusiasm that I didn't want to be left out. But from now on, I'm initiating a boycott. I don't eat gluten anyway, so why did I think this was a good idea?

I feel a little better now, I mean, I was able to walk to Anu's for the net, which is a big leap. I'm not sure how I'll feel tomorrow, but I hope I feel well enough to practice. Some people at the Green Market (every Sunday, the Green Hotel holds a market with all organic produce and such) mentioned that they knew people with a 24 hour bug. Sounds like that could be it. Who knows. At least its not Malaria. I think. What are the symptoms?

Tomorrow I'm also going to join the Sanskrit class, which sounds more like just chanting. Its with a professor Jayashri and it sounds lovely. I'm looking forward to doing something more meaningful than shopping.

Real Estate Survival Course: The emotional, angry, homesick, baby-boo post

Last night I slept from 7pm to 7am this morning. I was still tired when I woke up and my face was puffy from all the mosquito bites. I tried to get a cup of water from my water jug (everyone rents a water jug to put in their room with filtered water). I was pleasantly greeted with a broken tap that I had failed to notice the night before. Fabulous. I got ready in a hurry for our day trip (Elissa, Miriam, and I) to Bylakupee Monastery. The whole trip cost 1500 rupees (divided by 3) plus food. More on the trip later.

Mostly I felt horrible. My stomach feels heavy. I've been eating a bit of dairy, sugar, and gluten, all of which I don't ever have at home and I think it is catching up to me. When we got back, I went to pick up my cellphone after 3 days of the cell guy telling me to "come back tomorrow, come back tomorrow." When in the meantime, they probably called all their family members in the states. Luckily it was there and now I have a plan. Then off to the tailors to pick up my shirts. They came out very nice, or maybe I just wanted to go home. Last stop was to Krishna Murthy to get my water replaced and to tell him how unhappy I was with my living situation. When I went with him to see the place everyone told me that it would be cleaned and ready for me by the time I moved in that night. It wasn't. It took like 3 days to convince them to clean the toilet. There are no window coverings, I'm being eaten alive by mosquitoes, there are ants in the cabinet, and I'm convinced that someone is using my toilet. Today when I got home the toilet seat was up. Anyone who knows me knows how crazy I get about the lid up, no less the entire seat. Why on earth would I do that? I opened the bedroom to let Murthy in to change the water, only to find that the whole room was flooded because the water tank had leaked all day. When I asked the landlady for cleaning supplies, she went into my bathroom to get my bathing buckets to clean the floor! I can only assume that this same philosophy was applied for cleaning my toilet. In all probability, i have been taking bucket showers with the same bucket used to clean my toilet! !#^&**!%%!!!

Part of me wants to scream, cry, go home, crawl under a bed. But what can I do? I cleaned up the floor, went to the store for homemade chocolate, and tried to call "B", who didn't answer.

This girl Rachel told Elissa that coming to Mysore you can't reach for things like you can at home, instead you have to reach for yourself.

Universal Real Estate Tips:

1. Don't hand over the money until the space is EXACTLY how you want it to be.

2. See tip number 1

3. See tip number 1

4. See tip number 1

5. Don't under any circumstances hand over money until the said space is EXACTLY how you would like to live in it!

Chamundi Hill

I think Chamundi Hill is like the Empire State Building of Mysore. Everyone asks, "have you been up the hill?" Or you catch conversations, "I just got back from Chamundi". So, today after a leisurely breakfast, Elisa and I went to the hill.

Fridays are Led Primary. I'm in the second group that meets at 6:15am (the earlier group meets at 5, and the third group meets after my class). The door was closed today, so we weren't sure if we could go into the vestibule to watch the early class. It was definitely too cold to stay outside on the steps. Peeking through the window, we could see one person sitting on the bench and a guy practicing. Since the guy was on the bench,we figured we could do the same. So we pushed the girl ahead of us forward, Elisa sat on the bench, and I hung back in the corner next to the door. I didn't want to get called out if we weren't supposed to come in. Probably the door was closed so that the guy in the entrance wouldn't get cold. People kept coming in after us, and the poor guy got a hit of the draft every time. People say its getting pretty crowded right now because of Guruji's birthday. So there are a lot of first-timers and such and the classes are packed.

After the first class, everyone kind of rushes to claim a spot because no one wants to practice in the entrance or the dressing rooms. I was somewhere in the middle again. I wasn't shaky today like I was yesterday morning, but I was tired. I didn't really sleep very soundly last night because of all the lovely mosquitoes in my room. I woke up in the middle of the night scratching and slapping my face. I had bites on my arms, legs, even on a nipple! I tried to hold out for as long as possible but then caved and went up stairs to Elisa's room for incense and bug spray. It worked while it was burning. I didn't have an incense burner, so it burned the plastic vase I had put it in.

Headstand was better today. I was proud of myself for staying up to about 13 breaths. 13 is counted much slower than you might think. Every time my breath got to 10 I started over at one hoping that I could trick my body into staying in the pose a little longer. After class was the usual coconut and jelly where I ran into Guy, who has just arrived.

We had breakfast at the Shakti house, which was really good. I had a banana and soy milk smoothie. I always have to convince people that I really don't want milk and that seriously, I don't want sugar or jaggery. It was really tasty. This was followed by an open faced hummus sandwich on r...? bread. I think it was made of buckwheat, but I don't recall. The hummus was really good, not very garlicky. Its hard to find food with garlic around here. I just don't taste it. Slices of cucumber and tomato were placed on top with some spices. This place is also known to serve good pancakes, omelets and other wholesome, hardy fare at a decent price.

Elisa and I took a rickshaw to the steps of Chamundi Hill. It was quite crowded and at one point we were at the outskirts of the city entering what looked like a parking lot. The driver turned off his engine and the rickshaw was quickly surrounded by dozens of Indian men holding plates of rice offering us "good food". I think they were just trying to be nice, giving us something hardy for the journey we were about to make, but after we said "no, thanks", they just wouldn't let it go and our driver got out, and we got nervous. Elisa grabbed the driver by the shirt and we were yelling at him to get back into the rickshaw and that we wanted to leave.

pic of auto rickshaw from the net...

The rickshaw driver left us at the bottom of the hill so we could walk up the steps. (For more on Chamundi Hill, click here.) Elisa had gone there a couple of days ago, but decided against it because she felt really uncomfortable being all by herself amongst a bunch of loitering men, beggars, and monkeys at the base of the steps. When she got home, our "house mama" told her that you should never go alone because a cheetah lives up there and attacks people. Hmmm.

This time, however, there were loads of people. Chamundi Hill is well, a hill. There are steps leading up this hill carved from stone. I thought there were a hundred, and after a while of climbing was confused about the number of steps. Elisa clarified that actually there were 1,000. At the very base of the steps, men and women were praying and putting together burnt offerings. There were piles of red and yellow powder smudges around the offerings and we noticed that actually the markings were on the corners of every step leading to the top. Women with bags or bowls filled with the powder would kneel and mark each of the 1000 steps all the way to the top. In the places where there were no steps because there was a bit of a plateau, they would mark every few feet. The result was a beautiful stone staircase, colored with red, yellow, and orange, like fall leaves.

The long walk up would have probably been quite peaceful and spiritual had we not been pestered by teenagers the whole way up. "Hello, how are you?" "What is your name?" "Where are you from?" All seemingly harmless questions, but to these boys, these questions were all about the art of seduction. They were laughing shouting, getting bolder all the time.

About half way up the hill there is a little cave/temple. Around it vendors sell pineapple and cucumbers and wreaths of flowers. We took off our shoes, but to the dismay of all, carried them with us toward the temple. I sat outside with our shoes and Elisa went in first. She came out a second later and kind of just shrugged. I went in next. I had to crouch down very low to get in the small opening of the cave, which has a tiled floor. To the left was the cave swami. People were holding out there hands and he was giving them something and then they would turn to the right and dab their fingers in a bowl in front of a shrine. I sat there and looked at the Swami and asked him "what do I do?" He said put out your hands and so I did and he said "no the other one" (my left hand was on top, a big no no) and he dropped a pile of sugar in my hands. I asked him what the other stuff was about and he said just pointed to the red spot between his eyebrows. People were making some kind of offering and then dipping their fingers into red powder and putting a smudge between their eyebrows. He patted the floor next to him, motioning to sit down, so I did. He was so calm. I felt like I didn't want to leave but I also had absolutely nothing to say to him. So I asked him his name--Swami Jamanagiri. He asked me mine and where I was from. Once he found out I was from NY, he asked me if I knew Eddie Stern, Regina ("She is coming?"). I told him Mary said to see him. He nodded like he knew who that was. I sat there for a little while longer. The tiny cave was getting quite crowded with school children who were climbing and touching everything. He got quite angry and got up to yell at them. Again, I didn't want to leave, but I didn't know how to stay, so I left. The sugar was melting in my hand. We became celebrities on that hill. Families wanted to get pictures with us, children wanted our autographs. It was surreal. We continued up the mountain.

At the top was the crazy building you can see at the top of the page and a lot of people, vendors, and cows. Always the cows. Swami Jamanagiri said that there were many people today because the month was very auspicious. This is the month of Chamundi and so every Friday, "thousands, not hundreds" of people come. At the top we met up with some people we recognized from the shala and Rishi's. Nuno and his friend Nuno from Portugal. We sat on a wall and looked at the incredible view over the city. The way down was less than thrilling for my knees and by the time we got to the bottom , we had an entourage of schoolchildren and very wobbly legs. Tonight is Dosa night at Anu's. Very exciting.

PS-Elissa thinks that the people here think I'm a Bollywood star and that's why we go so much attention. Who can say?